I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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