There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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