She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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