we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize