grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
