she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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