she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
