My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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