I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
