First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
