Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
