oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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