She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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