i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
