I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize