smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
i think i just lost a toe
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
that is very illegal...i love you.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
