Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it's like heaven, but drunker
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
