Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
