the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
