If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
they're like a gay fantastic four
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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