i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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