Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize