I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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