BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
