thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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