I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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