Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize