at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
