I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Help. Why am I so naked?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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