I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
