I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it glows. i had to have it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
