Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
