Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
