And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Still dying that you shit outside
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
