i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize