Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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