we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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