i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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