how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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