Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
