I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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