Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
