Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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