I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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