I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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