I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize