I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
