so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
