i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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