the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
