I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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