Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
