Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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