2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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