You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
