I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
