i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
