you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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