he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
