I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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