I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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