you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
