Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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