Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
