after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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