My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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