from now on my penis is your penis
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
