i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
