He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i was born a porn star she said
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
