are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
