is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
